Sunday, May 21, 2017

Moving On

When is it time to part ways? Is this the right decision? How will this effect us? Is this a mistake? Is this the right thing to do? Over the last few months these questions have ran through my mind, over and over. There's been anger, annoyance, guilt and an anxiousness revolving around these questions. And then, one day you just know. Yes, it's time. I'm at a place in my life I never thought I would be at. No, I'm not talking about divorce. I'm talking about asking...no telling your adult child that it's time to move out.



When my daughter turned eighteen she stopped spending the night at our house. We barely ever saw her except when she needed a shower or a change of clothes. I started to feel like our home was nothing but a "storage unit", a saying that everyone in my family hates but it was how I felt nonetheless. I slowly became more annoyed and angry so my husband and I sat down and discussed what we wanted to do. "You're still the parent. What do you want to do? This is our house, our rules." I don't know, I would say.

As someone who had a horribly abusive childhood, was told all the time that she was hated, unloved and was kicked out finally for good at sixteen, I really struggled being able to let go of my own child. My job was to protect her, love her, keep for harm but at the same time prepare her to be confident, independent and ready to be on her own. I was at constant odds with myself over "letting" her go. I'm not doing this out of hate, or spite, or anger. I absolutely one hundred percent love my child. I would do anything for her. This includes allowing her the opportunities to grow up and be her own woman.

So, over the last yr my husband and I have sat down and come up with reasonable rules. Well, that proved to be too difficult. Reminders were said. Different rules and agreements were put together. Those didn't last either. And after months of this we were done. I said you need to go. There was no place for her to go. She's still here. Back and forth. Finally it's come to the point where enough is enough. It's eviction time.

How do you know it's time? When this happens. When you've given chances and tried different things. When they work and show they can keep a job. When they, forgive my wording, but treat your home like a storage unit or hotel. When they show and express how they don't want to contribute to the house or family. How do you know if this is a mistake? You don't. You look for the signs. You follow your feelings because you are still the adult, the parent and love her. It is still your home and your rules. Is this the right thing to do? Yes. When you've given chances, tried to set up different rules or ways to make it work together and those rules and ways are repeatedly broken...then yes it's the right thing to do. When contributing and being asked to help out is huffed at and used as a bargaining chip to change rules...then yes. When being part of the family is a bother, inconvenience....then yes. When entitlement behavior takes over....then yes. When overall you've been lucky with this child that has grown to be a smart, beautiful woman, who has worked since she was sixteen...then yes. When your child has paid their bills on their own and feels like they know everything and can do it on their own....then yes, it is time to take the next step.

I think as a parent you just know when it's time. When she first turned eighteen I hoped she'd stay forever. Now, just months away from nineteen, I'm ready to let go. Truthfully I should have pushed for this a few months ago. I should have said enough is enough but I wasn't ready to let go. I am ready to let go. I'm ready to nudge the little bird out of the nest.






Friday, May 19, 2017

Handy Dandy Wagon

After a long Mother's day weekend spent in PA, it was nice to come home to some warm sunny weather. I think the weather has finally turned the corner and these sunny days are here to stay! Paul, the kids and I spent Tuesday planting the rest of our gardens! Yes we have two!

I wanted to share with you the awesomeness and convenience of my new garden scooter. Paul picked it up from Home Depot for under $20! It comes in both teal and green, seen HERE, a removable kneeling pad, removable bucket and a handy pulling strap. The pulling strap even tucks back inside when you are done using it. The best part, besides being under $20 and being able to sit on it without worries, is that it comes with cup holders! I wasn't sure at first if this was something I needed or would really use but my mind sure changed the other day. All my little shovels, gloves and other gardening tools fit easily inside along with Lily's kneeling mat. I highly recommend this to all my gardening friends. It's definitely worth the money and is just overall a great time saver! And Lily is excited because she gets to pull this light weight wagon and be my "big helper" :)

What are you all planting this year? What is the gardening tool that you can not live without?



Thursday, May 11, 2017

Day 30!!! List Included

That's it. Done. Overall, I say it went pretty well. There were a few days here and there that I really wasn't into it and there was the "oops" day with the trip to Express where I used my gift card. When I started this challenge I looked forward to how easy getting dressed in the morning would be. Well, that easiness only lasted about a week. Some days it was truly an effort to get dressed. Even with a list of what to wear I still couldn't decide what to wear haha! This challenge has shown me that yes, putting in effort is great but so are a cozy pair of pajamas and fuzzy socks on a rainy day when you are absolutely not leaving the house. I will still be getting dressed nicely most days. I love clothes and the feeling of just being "pulled together". Also I think people might ask me if I'm feeling well if I don't lol! I think the one thing I'm most excited about with this challenge being over is not having to take pictures of myself everyday. It's awkward. I am in no way a model and I have absolutely no clue how to pose. I literally looked up a few times how to stand and what to do with my hands. I also hate looking at the camera. Second thing that I'm happy about is that my closet has been downsized and redone. I had over 5 trash bags full of clothes, shoes and purses to donate!
So here it is, Day 30 of my 30 Day Fashion Challenge: Metallics
This dressy top needed no necklace. Just simple earrings and some silver bangles. White jeans (got the stain out! yay!), and a denim jacket kept this outfit from being overly dressy. I couldn't even tell you the last time I wore this shirt. No idea. It's a keeper though.

I am going to take a few days off of blogging. I will probably be back on Tuesday. Hope everyone enjoys the weekend and has a wonderful Mother's Day!

 LOVE you!
Nova


30 Day Fashion Challenge
Day 1: Casual Chambray
Day 2: No Jeans Pants Day (Linen pants, slacks etc.)
Day 3: Printed Skirt
Day 4: Olive Pants
Day 5: Lace and Pastel
Day 6: Kimono
Day 7: Old Shirt
Day 8: Wear a Blazer
Day 9: May Flowers (something Floral)
Day 10: Plain top and Pearls. Or plain top and dramatic necklace
Day 11: Boots! Plan an outfit around your favorite boots
Day 12: A Little Boho Love
Day 13: Wear a scarf as a belt
Day 14: Stripes!
Day 15: Joggers. Dress up your jogger pants
Day 16: Vintage
Day 17: Newer Top
Day 18: Romper
Day 19: Sporty (Leggings okay, but put some effort in)
Day 20: Nautical
Day 21: Graphic tee and Accessories
Day 22: Bootleg Jeans
Day 23: Star Wars (May the Forth)
Day 24: Spanish Flare (Cinco De Mayo)
Day 25: Palazzo Pants
Day 26: Shine Bright (bright colored top, layer, or pants)
Day 27: Gingham
Day 28: Maxi Dress
Day 29: Heels and Girlfriend Jeans
Day 30 Metallics

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Heels and Girlfriend Jeans


 Okay so I kind of cheated with the no buying clothes.... I went to Express to see if they had a white fitted cardigan. They didn't. However they did have this gorgeous blush colored top. It has a romantic feel to it with its ruffles and one shoulder look. As I said I kind of cheated...why "kind of" well because I had a gift card. See, that's totally okay, right? Technically I didn't spend any money. Okay, okay. I failed. It was a no shopping challenge not a no buying challenge. I totally failed. I suck. I couldn't even make it the 30 days. Ugh!!
In spite of my failure at not shopping, I did at least do today's challenge which was to wear heels with 'girlfriend' jeans. Super realistic as a SAHM, stay at home mom, don't you think? ***eye roll*** What was I thinking? After looking at the pictures and the height of these heels, I will be changing them to a more classic 2" black heel pump. Not only will that be more reasonable for a day heel but will match better with the overall look. I accessorized my new top with a long blush and neutral toned necklace, gold stackable rings and a long knitted navy cardigan. I'm also wearing one of my favorite hats. Which, confession time, I wear due to the fact that I can barely ever find the time, have the patience or knowledge to style my hair.

Tomorrow: Day 30 and Metallics! See below for where to shop!


 You can find similar items below:

Tops
Express

Forever 21

Girlfriend Jeans
GAP

  Black heels made a huge difference!






Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Maxi Dress

Maxi-dress, was day 28th's theme. I was more than happy to bring out this dress that I got from Express last summer. This is one of my favorite dresses though surprisingly I think I've only worn it one other time. Which is a bit sad considering I paid full price for this and I talked myself into buying it by thinking how often I could wear it and the different places it could be worn. Also, by how I could dress it up or down easily with different shoes. **sigh** I really need to take my own advice and wear the clothes that I have. I think I'm going to do the hanger trick. You know the one where you turn all your hangers backwards and by the end of the year you see what you haven't worn because the clothing on those hangers are backwards still? I need to come up with something.
Anyways, though this dress at first glance may not seem casual I can assure you that I did in fact wear this all day. Not once did I feel over dressed. We ran a bunch of errands including a trip to Home Depot. I even played on the floor with the kids. I skipped on jewelry today but mostly because I simply forgot to add bracelets and a necklace. That probably helped with keeping this look on the simpler side too. I will admit that the maxi length did start to irritate me but that is mostly because Grayson is walking and he constantly would walk over to me and hang on the dress.   

As someone who never wore any patterns (besides stripes) till recently, I have to say that after this month I am drawn to patterns more than ever. Especially all things floral. Every time I wear something with flowers I notice that my day just seems to be better. Maybe because its Spring or maybe it's because I am a bit crazy. Who knows...lol.






Monday, May 8, 2017

Days 26, 27 and Mother's Day Present Stress


Day 27 and today's challange was to wear a gingham shirt. I decided to wear an older one I hadn't used in awhile. I wore it open as a cardigan since it was a bit windy out. I'm feeling a slight western vibe with my open toe, suede and fringed ankle boots, my silver jewelry and white laced top. I can definitely see myself repeating this look but with some cutoff jean shorts, this summer. 

* See below for more pictures and for day 26's look*  

I'm sitting in the van right now while the baby sleeps and I'm trying to come up with something to give my grandmother for Mother's Day. I am completely drawing a blank. Ive been trying to come up with the "perfect" gift for weeks! As a formal preschool teacher I have tons of ideas of cute things that the kids could make but I wanted her to have "more". Nana has been there for me all my life and I love her so much. For everything she has done, for all the love she has shown....how do I repay that? How can I show her how special she is to me? To us? Nana has recently moved to PA from southern California so this will be my first Mother's day with her, in who knows how long so it has to be great. 

We'll after stressing all week and now sitting here in my van I think I've got the perfect idea. I have all three kids pictures that i can frame for her new house and I think the kids will make something. And you know what? Whatever they do make, THAT will be perfect. Nana's gift doesn't need to expensive. It doesn't need to be extravagant it just needs to show her how much we appreciate and love her. I usually call her a few times a week so hopefully that helps to let her know how much I love her.
 Besides I gave her three amazing and super cute great-grandchildren which is pretty much the most awesome gift ever soooo..... 😉

Day 26: Bright Color 
This is the brightest clothing item that I own! So it was the obvious choice for Sunday's look. To tone down the brightness and because it was cool out, I paired the top with black jeans and my favorite denim jacket. Looking forward to wearing this, as well, this summer with some white or black shorts. I love the diamond detail on the back of this top! So fun.













Saturday, May 6, 2017

Palazzo Pants

Today is a lazy rainy Saturday. We've sat around the house all day eating and watching movies and I almost forgot to take pictures and write. If ever there was a day not to get dressed and sit around in pajamas it would be today. Luckily its day 25 and I have these comfortable palazzo pants for "Prints on the Bottom" day. I have dressed these pants up, I've dressed them down and I've even pushed it and worn them once as pajama pants. Which I'll admit wasn't the greatest idea I ever had and slightly messed up the tassle tie. What!
 These pants are so comfortable. I wish I had a few more pairs. I'm really feeling THESE palazzo pants from Charlotte Russe. The lightweight material and casual stripes would be perfect for the beach, going out for a bite to eat or even watching TV all day. I prefer to always pair any patterned bottom with a solid colored well fitting tank or tee. You don't want to get to crazy with this much going on. How do you wear yours?
 Me standing out in the rain being a weirdo.