I Will Not Be Shamed

I've been stuck on what to write for awhile now. Not so much writers block but just so hung up on the reactions from a recent post that I have not been able to move forward. When I wrote about weaning my son, HERE, and posted photos I expected to get some feedback. Both good and negative. The amount of positive and supportive messages and texts I received was amazing and so appreciated. I had expected the negative feedback, if any, to come from strangers. It did not. Not one. I was shocked that the only negative feedback came from some people very close to me. Inappropriate, pornographic, overly sexual and trashy are words that were used to describe something I had believed to be pure and beautiful. I started to feel ashamed, embarrassed and my heart just broke hearing these words. I felt guilt that a post that I was so proud of was taken in such a negative light.  Now just to clarify, it was the photos that caused concern, not the words. I get it. I do. However at the same time those pictures, to me, showed the bond, the nurturing and the intimacy that comes with breastfeeding. The goal of those photos was to capture a pure moment between my child and myself. How do you "properly" capture the love and closeness you feel while looking at your child while breastfeeding? The bond that is there? The trust? This a part of motherhood that is just so magical that it is hard to fully explain. Even with formula and bottle feeding, this bond is formed. The connection is just there. It is a beautiful and overwhelming experience that is so full of love. I wanted to capture the beauty of it. And I feel like the pictures I posted did just that.

I had contemplated taking down the photos. I went back and forth on this a lot. But then when it came down to it I had to be true to myself. I believed in what I had posted. I believed that though these photos were upsetting to some that I was just as covered as I would have been in a bikini. I truly do see and understand were these people are coming from. I do. I think when confronted with any opinion other than your own it's important to try and see their side. Otherwise, how can you grow, learn and not be close minded?

Now, I will admit that these photos may be more "in your face" than one of me sitting in the living room breastfeeding with a shirt and pants on. I get this is what the overall issue was from my post. I get it. However, at the same time to tell me it's pornographic and inappropriate shows that these people don't truly "get it". To try and make something that was innocent and turn it into something so disgusting is wrong. I will not be taking that post or the photos down. I will not be shamed. I will leave it up because I know that mothers get shamed all the time for more "innocent' photos and that is just sad. I will leave them up not out of disrespect to those who showed "concern" but because someday my girls may be breastfeeding in public and should not have to be worried about being shamed or having to cover themselves. I will leave them up because when my three year old "breastfeeds" her baby doll at school there should be no reason that the teachers should feel the need to tell me. It is natural. It is what breasts are meant for. The over sexulazation of breasts in our culture has become so insane that woman feel they need to feed their child on a toilet or in a hot car to avoid glares! It's not right.

I would like to thank everyone again that showed support for what I posted. Thank you all for the messages, the texts and phone calls. And to those who felt the need to say otherwise....I get it. But know that YOU are the reason for the normalize breastfeeding posts, not just from me but from all of social media. Your need to sexualize what I did and then call others and gossip about it shows your own perverse thinking. I hope that someday you will be able to separate yourself from your own close mindedness and grow.

Here you go. I found a picture that may be more appropriate.